Porno kijken maakt ons ontrouw
Bij 1 op 4 mannen en 1 op 5 vrouwen in Vlaanderen komt ontrouw voor binnen een relatie (www.sensoa.be). Mensen beschouwen bedriegen echter als een ernstige overtreding van de romantische regels. Dit geldt ook voor jongvolwassenen, die toch nog steeds uitgaan van monogamie als de ultieme stelregel.
Ontrouw is divers
Wat is ontrouw dan precies? Hoewel dit antwoord wellicht voor iedereen afzonderlijk zal verschillen, veronderstellen onderzoekers dat een algemeen onderscheid gemaakt kan worden tussen seksuele en emotionele ontrouw. Bij seksuele ontrouw gaat het voornamelijk om alle vormen van seksueel lichamelijk contact met iemand anders dan de partner, zoals geslachtsgemeenschap of orale seks. Emotionele ontrouw omvat eerder handelingen waarbij de focus ligt op het creëren van affectieve banden met een ander, zoals verliefd worden op die persoon. Deze indeling lijkt in de huidige tijdsgeest echter triviaal en bovenal gesimplificeerd. Ontrouw kan volgens onderzoek namelijk een veelheid aan definities omvatten. In de huidige maatschappij, waarin het internet een integraal deel uitmaakt van onze dagelijkse activiteiten, begonnen auteurs het begrip online ontrouw af te tasten. Het internet heeft het namelijk mogelijk gemaakt om zeer eenvoudig contacten te leggen, zonder dat de partner hiervan op de hoogte is. Apps en tools zoals Instagram, Facebook en Skype vormen nu plots een reële bedreiging voor onze relatie. Deze masterproef erkende de relevantie van het eerder recente fenomeen, maar voegde een extra dimensie toe aan wat tot nu toe werd verondersteld. In deze studie werd online ontrouw namelijk opgedeeld in een seksuele en een emotionele variant.
De donkere kant van porno
Iedereen kijkt pornografie. Of zo lijkt het toch, want met de komst van het internet werd porno kijken wel heel toegankelijk, betaalbaar en bovendien anoniem. Bewezen is nochtans dat pornoconsumptie een negatieve invloed kan hebben op diverse aspecten van romantische en seksuele relaties. Zo zou het voor een lagere huwelijks -en relatiekwaliteit kunnen zorgen, een positievere attitude tegenover onpersoonlijke, ‘casual’ seks en werd het, in bepaalde mate, in verband gebracht met ontrouw. Over dat laatste heerste tot nu toe onduidelijkheid en dit vormde daarom de rode draad van dit onderzoek.
Deze studie ondervond dat porno inderdaad samenhangt met drie vormen van ontrouw, namelijk seksuele, online seksuele en online emotionele ontrouw. Concreet betekent dit dat hoe meer porno een jongvolwassen persoon kijkt, hoe bereidwilliger hij of zij zal zijn om te bedriegen. Interessant is dat we tevens op zoek gingen naar mogelijke verklaringen voor deze relatie. Enerzijds blijkt het belangrijk of jongvolwassenen het idee koesteren dat hun vrienden en vriendinnen ook wel eens ontrouw zijn in hun relatie, om zelf bereid te zijn tot bedriegen. Anderzijds lijkt het dat hoe meer ze geloven dat ons netwerk ontrouw tolereert of accepteert, hoe waarschijnlijker ze zelf deze handelingen zullen uitvoeren. Tegen onze verwachtingen in, bleken de eigen gevoelens van mensen rond ontrouw, niet te verklaren of ze zich hierin zouden bezondigen.
Don’t watch porn kids!
Tot op heden werd binnen de academische literatuur over het onderwerp geen expliciet onderscheid gemaakt tussen online seksuele en online emotionele ontrouw. Uit de resultaten van deze studie blijkt echter dat zich tussen deze vormen verschillen kunnen voordoen in verband met pornoconsumptie. Een aparte bejegening van deze varianten blijkt dus essentieel. Er zijn bovendien nog verschillende academische routes te bewandelen met het oog op de relatie tussen pornoconsumptie en ontrouw. Dit was een kwantitatieve studie met vaste definities rond ontrouw, maar wat gebeurt er als je mensen zelf laat aangeven wat ze onder bedriegen verstaan? Ben je bovendien bereidwilliger tot ontrouw als je porno samen met je partner kijkt? Er valt nog veel te ontdekken!
Deze studie formuleert ook een belangrijke take-home message voor jongvolwassenen, nu blijkt dat ontrouw diverse nefaste gevolgen heeft voor het verloop en de kwaliteit van romantische relaties. Bovendien brengt ontrouw intense negatieve gevolgen voor het slachtoffer van ontrouw in de relatie met zich mee. Uit onze resultaten blijkt dat pornoconsumptie in verband staat met ontrouw. In het kader van media-educatie dienen jongvolwassenen dus gewaarschuwd te worden voor de mogelijke implicaties van porno kijken. Meer concreet vormt deze bevinding ook belangrijke input voor relatietherapeuten die rond bedrog werken. Ten slotte blijken vrienden en vriendinnen een belangrijke rol te spelen bij de afweging om te bedriegen of niet. Binnen je vriendengroep kan het daarom belangrijk zijn om ontrouw niet te gaan normaliseren.
We staan misschien niet snel stil bij mogelijke consequenties als we op zoek gaan via onze browser naar sites zoals ‘Pornhub’. Uit deze studie blijkt echter dat het mogelijk een impact op de relaties van jongvolwassenen heeft. Denk daarom bij je volgende erotische zoekopdracht eerst aan je partner, misschien is dat zelfs al genoeg!
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