I am who I am because of my parents
"Successful parenting is a principal key to the mental health of the next generation."
John Bowlby
Tijdens de adolescentie veranderen de relaties in de sociale wereld van jongeren. Ze willen zich meer en meer losmaken van hun ouders, terwijl leeftijdsgenoten steeds belangrijk worden. Toch blijven de ouders een belangrijke rol spelen in het leven van de jongere. Een goede relatie met zowel ouders als leeftijdsgenoten heeft een positieve invloed op de ontwikkeling van het welzijn van jongeren.
Hechting
Jongeren die een goede relatie met hun ouders hebben, zijn meestal veilig gehecht. Hechting is de band die ontstaat tussen ouder en kind. Het is de manier waarop een kind een emotionele band opbouwt met de ouders en met andere belangrijke volwassenen in zijn omgeving. Al van bij de geboorte zoeken kinderen nabijheid en bescherming bij anderen. Als een kind structureel aanvoelt dat hij op ouder(s) kan vertrouwen in tijden van stress en verdriet, ervaart hij veiligheid in de relatie. Dat veilige gevoel stelt een kind in staat om relaties aan te gaan en te vertrouwen in zichzelf en de buitenwereld. De hechtingsstijl is vrij stabiel over de jaren. Bij 70 procent van de kinderen zal het hechtingsgedrag waarover het in de kindertijd beschikt overeenkomen met de latere gehechtheidsrepresentatie waarover het als volwassene zal beschikken.
Tal van studies tonen een sterke relatie aan tussen ouderlijke hechting en psychisch welbevinden van adolescenten. Veilige hechting in de adolescentie is van belang voor een gezonde ontwikkeling. Een veilige hechtingsrelatie gaat gepaard met minder risicovol gedrag, minder geestelijke gezondheidsproblemen en betere sociale vaardigheden. Het niet-veilig gehecht zijn leidt tot verschillende problemen in het latere leven van kinderen, zoals leerproblemen, een laag gevoel van eigenwaarde en moeite met het aangaan van relaties.Ook krijgen deze adolescenten sneller te maken met overmatig alcoholgebruik, druggebruik en criminaliteit.
Ouders die veilig gehecht zijn aan hun ouders hebben een grotere kans dat zij op hun beurt een veilige hechtingsrelatie zullen opbouwen met hun kinderen. In de psychologie wordt dit fenomeen benoemd als de intergenerationele overdracht van hechting. Ouders brengen hun eigen vorm van gehechtheid over op het kind via de kwaliteit van ouderlijke zorg. Ouders die veilig gehecht zijn, zijn responsiever ten aanzien van angst, spanning en verdriet van het kind. De gehechtheid van de ouder bepaalt hoe de ouder omgaat met communicatie over emoties in relatie met het eigen kind.
Tijdsperspectief
Jongeren die veilig gehecht zijn hebben een positiever tijdsperspectief. Tijdsperspectief gaat over de manier waarop mensen kijken naar het verleden, heden en de toekomst. Het varieert van individu tot individu en is afhankelijk van de omgeving waarin men zich bevindt. Een belangrijk onderdeel van het tijdsperspectief zijn de tijdsattitudes. Hieronder verstaan we de positieve of negatieve gevoelens die iemand heeft omtrent het verleden, heden en de toekomst. Tijdens de adolescentie krijgt het tijdsperspectief een nieuwe betekenis. Jongeren worden zich meer en meer bewust van hun eigen identiteit en gaan steeds meer hun eigen herinneringen van het verleden vormgeven en meer belang hechten aan de toekomst. Adolescenten die op een positieve manier kijken naar het verleden, heden en de toekomst hebben betere schoolresultaten, voelen zich beter in hun vel en zijn meer tevreden over hun leven.
Adolescenten met een veilige hechting aan hun ouders hebben een gunstigere kijk op het verleden, heden en de toekomst. Een veilige hechting bevordert immers een gevoel van keuzevrijheid en autonomie en zorgt ervoor dat adolescenten zich geen zorgen maken over de toekomst. We zien ditzelfde verband terugkomen als we kijken naar de relatie tussen het tijdsperspectief van jongeren en de hechtingsrelatie van de ouders met hun ouders. Veilige hechting bij ouders aan hun ouders hangt systematisch samen met positievere tijdsattitudes bij de adolescent.
Besluit
We kunnen dus besluiten dat ouders met een veilige hechting aan hun ouders ook een veilige hechting met hun kinderen zullen opbouwen. De veilige hechtingsrelatie van de jongere zal ervoor zorgen dat deze een positievere kijk heeft op het verleden, heden en de toekomst waardoor deze meer kans heeft op een gezonde psychologische ontwikkeling.
BRONNEN
- Beyers, W., Soenens, B., & Vansteenkiste, M. (2013). Autonomie-ontwikkeling. In W. Slot & van Aken, M (Eds.), Psychologie van de adolescentie: Basisboek (pp. 149-170). Amersfoot: ThiemeMeulenhoff.
- Hechting (psychologie). (z.j.). In Wikipedia. Retrieved August 29, 2019, from https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hechting_(psychologie)
- Mello, Z. R., Worrell, F. C. (2016). The Adolescent Time Inventory: Technical manual. Unpublished manuscript, San Francisco State University & University of California, Berkely.
- Moretti, M. M., & Peled, M. (2004). Adolescent-parent attachment: Bonds that support healthy development. Paediatrics & Child Health, 9, 551-555. doi: 10.1093/pch/9.8.551
- Reysen, A. (2010). Hechting, een nieuwe ster aan het hulpverleningsfirmament? Signaal, 70, 4-19.
- Van IJzendoorn, M. H., Bakermans-Kranenburg, M. J. (1994). Intergenerationele overdracht van gehechtheid. Kind en Adolescent, 15, 1-24.
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